Art Blogs?

It's been a month. Or two. Time you know, it just... goes.

But here I am, in college. And as part of my drawing foundations class, I am required to journal at least 5 times a week. This is exactly the structure I've been looking for, however I'm anxious that I'll begin to run low on wit, and my classmates will find me stale and boring. Seeing as how you are probably one of my classmates (and by probably I mean most definitely), I may be creeping you out a bit...

Moving on.

If you're at all interested in my older posts, then I urge you to look. I take pride in finding dumb things to say. If not, then you may want to consider it if you like amateur work, funny stories about a misplaced social pariah, or even fantasy writing. If not, and you think I'm a total loser, then I'm totally kidding. I like cars and girls and... stuff.

SO getting to the assignment:

What's on my mind art-wise? I want to broaden my horizons as far as viewing art goes, so if you have a suggestion as to some art to give a gander at, leave the name in the comments.

Ideas to draw/ develop:

1. A man with worn eyes and wind blown hair catching a bullet with his teeth, but his teeth shatter. Side view, dirty and sketchy, pen most likely.

2. Square project: One large cube sectioned into tons of other cubes. On the front face I'll have a depression in the center, the exposed sides shown on each cube. On the left face, I'll have cubes falling, like a dilapidated building. This is too difficult for me. But I'm gonna do it anyway, probably due to the fact that I hold a grudge against human limitation... Anyway!

Sketch?:








You may want to enlarge. It's really just a random amalgamation of ideas. It's usually how I start a project.

Also, if you guys don't mind, if I post some pictures of the art I want to submit, would you tell me whether or not submitting them in my portfolio is a good idea?

Thanks for reading!

Demand to see Life's Manager when handed Lemons

What?

Oh hai.

Guess what. My car is dead. I have no car. If I can't sleep in my bed at night, I would sleep in my car. If I had one. If UofL gets me a bumper sticker, I would put it on my car. But someone killed it. Killed it with a 2010 Mazda... Shame.

My parents loaned out my Little Lumina to someone in need for a week, and some lady, who thought her biscuits and gravy from KFC were more delicious and important than paying attention to hitting someone else's car hit it.  I hope that gravy scorched her toenails right off.

Well, the guy we loaned the car to is fine, and so are his passengers. But my car is totaled. I would be okay with this if I got a Nissan Cube out of the deal, but seeing as how God now punishes people for letting others borrow a car, I doubt that I will get a two wheeled golf cart, even.

In other news, I STILL cannot get a job, I STILL cannot figure out UofL's website, and I STILL cannot focus. I think I have ADD. I would call the doctor, but my ADD is preventing that. Also I couldn't make the appointment, because

I DON'T HAVE A CAR.


Once I do go though, and hopefully get medicated, I will finally be able to focus on one thing at a time. I haven't written in so long it sucks. I can't even keep blogging right now. fudge crackers. I will try again soon.

Revel in this glory:

Noot Noot.


Till next time.

♥, Me.

Don't Trust Little Black Boxes Called Jetpack

They don't work at all.

That's the main reason I haven't blogged in a while, my dear readers.

Verizon sold us this little miracle box called the MiFi Jetpack. It likes to download random things when no one is home. Then it likes to make my mother yell at me, even though I have only been home three times that week to shower and pee.

I graduated recently. And turned 18. It's all not as fabulous as it's made out to believe. Getting a job is impossible and it really takes a crap on your priorities.

So I'm sitting here in the Hebron library, typing on a keyboard so outdated that a WWII vet probably used it to bash a Nazi's teeth in. It's greasy too. Blech. Remember to wash your hands, Sawyer.

What do I have to talk about now? Well I'm not particularly sure. I do know that typing like a maniac is fun as hell in here. Most Kentuckians are impressed that you can spell your own name. Hell, half my graduating class would probably spell Conner Cougars like Conner Kroger, simply because there's one across the street. Close enough, I suppose.

There are no pictures so far in this post. This is mostly to do with the fact that this is not my computer, but also because I am on Internet Explorer, which is the bane of anyone who would like to do anything on the internet. They are making a new Internet Explorer, version 9. Now you can download Google Chrome 200 times faster.

I woke up this morning to find I had indeed missed orientation for Louisville, and this severely pissed me off. The blame here rests mostly on me (there you go mom, rejoice) and our retarded Internet. Also, UofL website makes about as much sense as a penguin pissing in a volcano. I recorded every password and username they gave me, plugged them all in, and couldn't log into a damned thing. Hm.

Anyway, money has been in my pocket lately, and is rapidly flying out. If you ask me then I'll tell you that someone has to help the economy. But really, I just find pleasure in stupid things. It has it's advantages. Then you get all depressed when you don't have two nickels to rub together. YOLO? (Never say that around me.)

I applied for Toy R Us, and despite it being a cool place in my youth, the floors are as yellow-stained as Ghandi's teeth and the isles reek of depression. Fair enough I suppose.

I have so much to do in so little time it seems. I have a fair amount of art projects I wanna finish at home. I have to get a job, preferably before I spend all this cash. I have to reschedule orientation. I have to set up a graduation party. I have to get a laptop. I have to fix my junker. I have to laugh at feminists more often. That's a big list for an apathetic guy, you know.

Moving on, I have recently started hanging out with THE GUYS as I will refer to them here, and I figure I can do a short psychological analysis on each of them here, mostly for my amusement, as none of them will read this.

Blondie: You know him. Book-reader, good natured and possessor of quick wit. Always dependable and fun, cautious (to a fault almost) and loving of his girlfriend Rachael, who may be one of the most badass girlfriends ever. Philosophical

Brian: Sex addict, likes get on /b/ for all the wrong reasons. He will make you laugh your pants off though, and his beard is a breeding ground for jokes. Good natured deep down.

Wooz: Whipped at the moment. However, I've known him to be one of the most relaxed yet intelligent men I've met. Hilarious and benevolent more often than not.

Ghandi (Not the real one or the one reffered to above): The more serious of the group, with an odd penchant for farts. Most reluctant to try something new, but also the most fun to watch do so. Clever and shrewd.

Oh, and we're all nerds.

I'm starting D&D. I have much more to talk about next time, but the library decided that a normal human needs only 50 of time on the computer. *sigh*

Till next time,

Birthday Boy

That would be me.

Today was a lot of things for me. Well. Sorta.

1. Took my A.P. Literature and Composition test (I am unofficially clocked out.)
2. I am 18

That's... that's about it. But when I walked outside to go to Blondie's, this is what my car looks like:

Brittany (Whom I adore with all my black heart), and our flamboyant friend Travis did this. And got away with it. How they weren't attacked by the school police officer is above me. I mean, we aren't allowed to open the windows because someone might climb in, so someone putting balloons on a car could only mean one thing, right?

Russian Invasion.

I hate Kentucky... Anyway, it was fun walking out, and having everyone beeping/flipping me off while I cut the balloons off with my keys (which is extremely inefficient).

I realized today during my A.P. test how smart I am, so I'm a little egotistical right now. Deal with it.

So, since it's been a long while, imma show you some things that you should be aware of:

1. The Legend of Korra is on. And it is awesome. You should be watching it. A link for those interested: CLICK ME DUDE

A picture of Korra:

2. Bioshock: Infinite release date was pushed back to 2013. I'm freaking devastated.

3. Skyrim DLC has been announced! Also, Kinect commands for it are about as addictive as meth covered in cocaine. Le link: More of a "What we want" thing. But, Bethesda has't said anything about content yet. This is a long link. Snagglepuss.

4. I have sunk my teeth into Emulators, and can't get enough. Playing all these classics makes me happy. Check it out at CoolRom.com.

5. Harely Quinn DLC has been announced for Batman: Arkham City! I love this game, it's definitely a master-piece. Link:  Trailer!

6. I'm reading a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It's drolly entertaining. Da Book

7. Lists are tedious.

8. Adventure Time is as funny as ever. If you aren't watching this, you are an idiot. Check out the show. Now.

Oh, here are some more pictures!

This is the cake from Portal. It was made by Blondie's awesome girlfriend Rachael, and not only was it awesome with awesome sauwce, but it looked PERFECT. Then Blondie was an ass and got a trick candle. THEN it didn't work and I lawled. Overall, I had a lot of fun hanging out with them, and realized just how much Blondie has to brag about. They're funny happy, which in turn makes me happy. Good times. Here is the cake!

So... Proud...

Oh, this is me looking awesome in armor with the master sword.

It just occurred to me that this could be the first time you've actually seen my face. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I also feel inclined to tell you that I'm not that fat. It's a fat hoodie. I wore it today to be comfy while taking the test. Comfy like a baby. In an oven. It was hot there.

Anyway! Until later, avid readers.

♥, Me.

Hello Again

Wow it's been a while. Sorry for the sudden break, a lot of things happened.

It was mainly my Internet being canceled. But hey. We move along I guess.

Speaking of which, my parent's just gave me a birthday cake (I'm 18 tomorrow!!!!!) and 30 ducks to Chili's plus cupcakes for tomorrow, and the best present ever, which I will explain now:

When I was little, I had this awesome metal revolver that I played with all the time. It was my favorite thing ever, and my Mom accidentally sold it in a garage sale, and I've given her grief to this day. So, in response, years later, she gives me this:

You jelly?

  It shoots caps. And they smell so bad. But they smell so GOOD. It makes me happy :)

So update? Let's see. Tomorrow is my A.P. Lit. exam. After tomorrow, I'm basically clocking out. Graduate on the 20th. For sure going to Louisville. Things are panning out. Well, sorta. Still jobless... I know, I know. I've been trying!

But now that I'm 18 a lot more jobs open up, so we'll see how that goes. P90X got off track. A lot. We're all starting up again next week, and I can't wait. You feel great after you do it...

Anyway, I know this is a bland post, but so much has happened! I have a lot to tell you about, and I will. In time. In separate posts. So piss you off.

It's what I do. I will post tomorrow, if Verizon or God is working.

♥, Me.

Witty Title

Wow, it's been about 2 weeks! Did you miss me? ◄

Awww...

Well, not much has been happening, I suppose. The last two art projects have sucked, and I'm fairly certain that I have lost skill in guitar playing, which is upsetting because I actually learned a really catchy song by Fleet Foxes called False Knight On The Road. I brought my guitar to school today for one of le crappy projects mentioned earlier and people asked me to play. I then proceeded to realize that I totally, entirely and truly suck at guitar. 

------------------------------------------------------oh well.

The job search is going considerably better, as I may get a job at either Jump!Zone with Britt or  at LazerKraze  which is supposed to pay 9 ducks an hour. All the ducks... Either of which would be great, because the last thing I purchased with my own money was a gumball from the mall which, in retrospect, was a poor decision. Iregretnothing.jpg

That's more of a "I don't even care face" but, you guys are just going to have to deal with it.

As far as writing goes, I would love to do some. However, Mrs. Foley is having a jolly old time cramming retarded assignments down my throat, like writing a hippie-america-is-beautiful thing. It actually came out pretty nice, and I'll include it at the end. STILL, I don't like her and her nonsensical "because I said so" attitude. She's like, 7 years older than me, and she looks like a bald eagle. Your authority=none. ↨

I miss my epic fantasy world... §

Anyway, Louisville orientation is coming up, and so is graduation, and so is never having to see anyone from school ever never ever ever never ever again. This, of course, makes me deliriously happy, as most of my classmates can't tell the difference between a shovel and an airplane.

Speaking of class, I have to read Dante's Inferno for A.P. Lit. This doesn't really bother me, except that I got the book. And the cover is in....

My MS Paint skills are over 9000.

A classic doesn't look as epic with a Comic Sans title. Oh well, I'm just a loser.

As far as P90X goes, it's about 5 weeks in, and I've lost 5 pounds... Unimpressive, but I've gained a lot of endurance. I just need to start eating right. Oh, and only break a sweat after 50 pull-ups. No big deal.

Weekly LAWL:

Really, I just wanted to see if GIFs worked. YAY for me!

Spring break is next week, and hopefully I'll be able to show pictures of all the guns I'll be shooting with my brother Corey, who lives down in Florida. He's in the Airforce, and is a lankier, more-ducks-having version of me. I miss the craps out of him. Oh crap... we're leaving right after school Friday, when I'm supposed to hang out with Blondie all day... crap.

"Bang on that keyboard louder Sawyer!" *Music is playing, shower is going, dryer is screeching*

Really, mom. You're just listening for it...

So I smash it out of spite.  ☼

Anyway, it should be a nice break, and I can keep up with P90X because he has it too. And I'll be playing LIVE, hopefully, a little bit. I can't wait for a lot of games this year... But that'll be in the next post. I think my mother's ears will explode if I type another hateful word.

So, I'll leave you with "The Valley by the Lake" and a childish hope you will spread my blog on Twitter or Facebook, and let it be buried under Justin Bieber fever and KONY crap. I'm selfish, love me.

Till next time, viewers,

♥, Me.

Click "read more" to read "The Valley by the Lake"!

Laser Beams

No, this post has nothing to do with laser beams...

Unfortunately. ↨

Anyway, I finished my Inking of SkullKid, and Good news, it's AWFUL!

It's just bad, man. Don't try to say otherwise. The Moon blows. But oddly enough, a girl in my class asked if I was going to keep it. She said if I didn't want it that she would love to have it. What the hell. It's bad, dude... And to top off that sundae of inadequacy, it made me feel like my first ink piece (Dubstep, Boom!) was even WORSE. ◄

Working on Chapter 4. There's just so much going on, like forgetting to sign up for orientation and forgetting to pay for cap and gown and forgetting to get lunch money and worrying about gas and worrying about a job and forgetting to worry about homework and things of that nature.

On an odd note, I saw this movie called Willow at my cousins' house. I didn't actually WATCH it, BUT I've heard at least 3 jokes the past week about it. Aziz Ansari made a joke about it in his stand-up, Psych made a reference, and some weird person who decided to stalk me on Twitter made a joke with it. Is it a good movie? Is it so awful that it's funny? I don't know. But I do know that there is a moody black midget is in it.

On that note, it seems that I should share something with you. The first thing I am forced to endure at school is a class called A.P. Literature. Now, this class is usually pretty cool, as I am into Literature (obviously) and things of that nature.

So last night, we read this quirky little story called "A Good Man is Hard to Find" by some 50's (The second thing to pop into my head after I see 50's is bacon...) lady. It was a tale of this obnoxious family trip to Georgia with their annoying and ignorant grandmother and how they all die. It was meh. But the important thing to know is that the Grandmother called this little black kid a n*****. Seeing the time period and how old she was, it made sense that the Grandmother would say it, as if it were common. This caused some people to have poop baby over the origins of this.

Specifically... well, we'll call her Clora. After about a good ten minutes of wasted time, my teacher, the hipster-poster woman for the world Mrs. Feldman is getting hilariously annoyed. Clora even asks our librarian about the origin of it and when it became offensive. Does it matter?! SERIOUSLY. It's offensive now, and was it ever really a compliment? Can I call you ridiculously hideous? No, it's offensive.

Clora trudges on with questions pulled seemingly from a retards book of retard quotes. She asks our librarian if calling black people colored people was offensive.

#,♦

You gave GOT to be joking me. But it's not over. LATER she tells us that she resents the blood drive going on at school tomorrow for using us. She says they take advantage of us. So, let me get this straight:

Motivating kids to SAVE LIVES through giving blood by getting them OUT OF CLASS and giving them a COOKIE is wrong. 

Through this, I have determined that Clora hates everyone with cancer, and paints with puppy blood every Sunday morning. 

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Sometimes I wonder.

On another note, if you are looking for a cheaper means of reading Pat Rothfuss's series, his second came out in paperback. Check it out here.

Before I go, this is Blondie's new art project.

The words are Gaelic. Yes, the Gaelic word for air is aer.

P90X time, week two. Cake is the enemy.

Uhhhhhhh Please help promote my Blog! Twitter, however despised by me, is a useful advertiser. Just use the hashtag #EclecticismforPleasure and spread the word! I really appreciate it. Also, if someone would let me know which chapter I showed last I'd be happy to put up the next one in anticipation for chapter 4.

"My pet jellyfish are hungry"

♥, Me.

Art, Art Everywhere!

Herro der.

This is the finished piece. I posted it earlier, but I added some stuffs. Also I changed the name to Dubstep, Boom for maximum trolling. The letters are dirty, smears in the soundwaves and more splattering.

Now, I have not been posting everyday. That was never my goal. Yes, I miss you people single viewer, but that's pretty unrealistic. Says the guy who drew a floating skull... Anyway, I think that this weekend I am going to do some writing! This will make my friend Blondie very happy. If you don't keep him happy, he kills your famiry.He's done this to me multiple times. It's not a pleasant thing.

An update on my life? Well, you're so considerate to ask! I've pretty much decided on Louisville. That being said, this is the first time Britt, my girlfriend, will know about this. So, that'll be good. I want to be in the City, and room with Blondie. If blogs had hashtags: #BestYearsEver. On a sidenote, today is day... 9 I believe of P90X.

Oh! Hey, there is going to be a lot of pictures on here, so unless you have (I just spent 10 minutes looking for the word for picture phobia and found that yahoo answers really raises more questions than anything...) some Je ne se qoui... Fear of pictures then.... then deal... the joke's not funny without the word. Dammit.

There's just going to be a lot of pictures. That's what I was going for...

This is the Weekly LAWL!!!!!

Weekly LAWL:

Gotta love Aperture science. You will only get this if you're a moderate nerd. Oh yeah, here's this:  
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Now I thought I would show you guys some of Blonide's artwork, as he is in my Drawing class, and we nerd out over stupid things and discuss things like Could you beat EVERY Legend of Zelda game in one day? because that's important. Seriously, it is. Sidetracking....

Here's his first piece: The Price of Power

And here is the other one he has done: Grimace

Yes, that's the Joker's Face. And yeah, Blondie did a sick job.

Oh, and if anyone cares here is a piece I started on yesterday.

It's SkullKid from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.The moon is in the background and his fairy is there next to him. I'm nowhere near completion, so I'll just have to finish it between projects. I think painting is next... That's going to be a disaster. Anyway, if the Moon's eyes look like the Awesome Face, you're right in thinking so. I believe once the moon is shaded gray and the inside of his eyes are totally black, it'll look good. Hopefully.

All the artwork you've seen so far has been Ink and Quill stuff. We've done other projects before this, but since I'm not that bright I didn't think to take pictures of them. I'm a keeper.

If you want to laugh at all the trolling going on with this KONY 2012 stuff, go to FunnyJunk.

If you want to see what books to read next, go to Pat Rothfuss's Blog, and also laugh a little.

This is a large blog post. I'm rather proud, and I'm Captain Obvious. I wish we had narrators to my life. Mine needs to have a really deep voice, and whenever someone is being dumb smash them with a comically large God-Hand when I turn around. Totally worth the murder trials.

I will post for you again soon, pretties.

♥, Me.

Boom, Dubstep!

Hey Everyone! This is one of my pieces I recently finished called Boom, Dubstep! obviously . This picture is from yesterday, and today I shaded the letters a bit and splattered the center speaker more, but this gives you a pretty good idea of it all. I worked long and hard on this one, and I hope you enjoy it. Other pieces will be up ASAP.

About my novel: I'm having some writers block. I'm hoping it will fade soon.

I also need to show you guys the Cut and Paste magazine poem I made called Assume Arrows. Everyone in my creative writing class said it doesn't makes sense, but most of them can't spell Assumption anyway.

To make it, I had to sift through copies of People magazine and I SWEAR TO GOD I lost an I.Q. point or two. How do people read that crap?!

Job? Nope. Still searching. Why will no one call me back?! I just want your money. Give it up.

Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully with more Wit and more Original Art Pictures. Till then, imma play The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

♥, Me.

Wee Little Update

I hope you had a nice weekend. I did not. But it's selfish to impose my emotions on yours.

SublimI'mAwesomessages.

It is now approximately 75 days till freedom for me. By that I mean I graduate, not turn into a giant Kangaroo and roam the Rockies for eternity. Which would me ridiculous. And by ridiculous I mean totally freaking awesome. Except I couldn't hop backwards... 

I don't know where I'm headed. Ah, some awesome news! Assassin's Creed III is coming out October this year! Watch the video here, good sirs: Le AC3 Trailer  

It's set in colonial America, which I'm kinda nervous about, considering the parkour element. But you have a tomahawk, so you can just see yourself as Mel Gibson running through the woods, hacking Brits to bits. The Patriot... Good movie. 

Um, if you are worrying about my novel, you have good cause. I'm stuck on chapter 4's event sequence, but I think I should have it worked out soon. As for my art, I'll be showing you the fruit of my labors soon. They're pretty cool, if I may say so myself. And I do say so. 

This is a short post, as I have just completed day 6 of P90X and my body is trembling. I will post again tomorrow. Live long and prosper. Also, watch the Big Bang Theory.

♥, Me.

Link Being a total BA.

Maces in Faces

Herro there, people. I have a picture for you.

This is what the Telhan Knights will look like, roughly. Who are the Telhan Knights?

Well I'm glad I forced you to ask that question. They are a group of elite warriors, chosen and trained from youth. They are the White Hand of the Telhan Church, who worship Tovah. These riders are untouchable as far as law goes, as anything they do is sanctioned by the church. As far as fighting capabilities, well. If one of the riders had to somehow magically fight themselves, they would win. Period.

There are 10 of them. At least, 10 that are known. There is one more,one that no one has ever seen and one that none know of save the White Eyes, the high council of the church. They literally have white eyes.Anyway, this secret rider's name is Tedan. Tedan is Harowhin's father. Plus, he's a Phoenix.

Tedan is the 11th rider, and if the White Eyes send him for you, you can be sure you're going to die. There are no rumors of an eleventh rider or stories. None. So, you can surmise that anyone he attacks dies. This is important because he is a Sre'thesu. Even if he is a Phoenix, he's still a Sre'thesu, so the mainland peoples find him disgusting.

The Phoenix blood runs in the Sre'Caill (Owl) lineages. Traditionally, the Phoenix is mated with the strongest female in order for them to become more and more supreme. But the last truly hailed Phoenix ran from his duty to protect when Sre'Se ordered him to help fight the Heaven's war (if this sounds unfamiliar, re-read the little lore story Tovah tells Harowhin). He disappeared, and the blood line vanished. Or so it is thought.

Anyway, Tedan is going to pop up soon in the story, revealing all of this to Harowhin, along with the corruption of the White Eyes and the whole Telhan Church. Tedan is going to train Harowhin to the best of his abilities before... well. You'll see.

"But why is Harowhin just a regular owl if his dad is a Phoenix?" you might be thinking. Because his mother is the Queen of the Empire. Scandalous. That is also why he can only partially change and why it rips his skin and hurts. Very important stuff to know. Now, yes, Harowhin does have Phoenix blood in him, and it does come into use. However, I'll save that explanation for anther post.

More on the Telhan Knights? Well the photo above is basically them, except each use a different weapon. Also, each has a special mount from pure Clydesdale bloodlines. Why Clydesdales? They are slower, true. But they can easily trample a man. There is a song, with 11 verses, 10 sung, 1 hummed, that tells of each rider, his weapon and his mount. I've yet to write this song, but I've been thinking on it for a while.

I was going to write about ketchup today, but I may do that tomorrow. Who knows?

If you have any questions you'd like to ask me, PLEASE DO SO. I'd love to discuss this more. Till next time,

♥, Me.

Slapping Yourself.

I have successfully started this blog. It exists in cyber-space, even if it sits in a little ol' corner, surpassed in it's loneliness only by Myspace.

But I did it. 

I have to give myself that, I suppose. What am I rambling about? Well, I suppose I realized I have some kind of commitment issue. Don't worry Brittany, it's not with our relationship. It's with myself. I tell myself I'll do something, swear to it!, and these are the outcomes:

1. Forget
2. Remember and don't do it
3. Remember and start, then fall into apathy
4. Worry about it all day, then fall asleep at the time I should be doing it
5. Forget about remembering to not forget
6. Remember, but think myself so clever that I'll do it in the morning in A.P. Lit, even though I walk in 1 minute before the final bell rings. 

It's a vicious circle. Seriously, read it sideways and it has teeth.

No, it doesn't. If you did it, smack yourself. If you actually smack yourself comment, so I can laugh at you.

Not like this. That's a bit too much, unless you are really desperate to make me laugh. 

Now, before we delve too deep into obscurity, it's imperative to realize, NO I don't know what I'm going to talk about after this word, or this one, but this one knew because it went with the almost-clever scheme. And if the title told you something, you should know I title it last. I have a phobia of titles, did you know that?

No I don't. Slap yourself if you believe that. Comment if you slapped yourself so I can laugh at you. And there is a title: Slapping Yourself. 

Just before this, I was going through blogger, and bashing my self-confidence, because every 30-something year old dude/dudette had a perky little format, with a cheery header! Mine is only text. And I have not the slightest idea as to how to change it. 

A slight intermission; if you don't like streams of consciousness, then there's a little box you can click at the top right of your screen. If you click it, the page will disappear, but if you do, a Mongolian plumber loses a forefinger. Slap yourself.

The difference between knowing grammar is knowing you're crap and knowing your crap.

Made me laugh.

While I'm blabbering, here's a REALLY cool story by Jonathan Foer called "A Primer for the Punctuation of Heart Disease". It's only about 2 pages long, but it's freaking quirky. I was actually thinking of robbing his idea and putting a Legend on the side of the post-thing and use them in here. We'll see if I do. You know I have commitment problems. Sheesh. 

I love drawing. And steampunk. And other things. But drawing is prevalent here because I am taking Drawing in school. As a senior. It's pretty great. I realized I don't have the greatest drawing fingers in the world. I think my fingers were made to tie knots in shoe laces, but oddly enough, I don't tie my shoes. Anywho, I think some of my Drawings are pretty cool, and once I get them back from my "teacher", I will show them to all of you, my faithful viewers. 

I also read today, after putting my blog up on this Ghetto site called spreadmyblog.com (sketchville of Internet-city), that highlighting things makes more people read your blog. So, this "paragraph" explains this:

Snargleflraglesnagamapoolafloopydoopydootolorddolamiteaghoaklackasnackattackmaphloopy.

Now, onto some almost-business. I have not been called by Panera. This makes me angry. When I get angry, I say mean things. When I say mean things, people throw things at me. When people throw things at me, I have to get surgery. When I get surgery, I turn into a cyborg with a god-complex. When I turn into a cyborg with a god-complex, I blow up the world. So, Panera. If you want the world to remain in existence, I suggest you hire me.

Another topic: I have a nifty idea for a short story about the idealistic 50's, except the father has been feeding his children murder victims for years. It's rather macabre, but that's the fun part. If this idea ever comes into fruition, it will most likely do so AFTER I have finished editing the first five chapters of Harowhin's Story. Which I am close to doing.

I realized that it's so hard to write some of this earlier stuff because I have the whole thing in my head, and can't wait to write certain parts like dafdsgfakusifalisudfha;lisudhfalisdufgalsidufgalsdiyfgalsduyfbalsduiybalf, when alieufhlwieufhalwiuerfhal;iweufha;woeif;awoeirjaw;eoifhja;soifha;dfoiahoi and a;soeifja;iorueha;wirueha;siudfha;sdfioha;sdoifha;sdoifuasdoifua;sdoifuas;eofiu!

Sorry, I had to censor a bit there. Now, I will put up another chapter tomorrow or whenever I blog next. It is about Harowhin's visit to Trades and how he is perceived after the incident at Tayeth's stall last summer. It will mark the beginning of his maturation, and the story will pick up relatively faster from here. Also, I feel the need to inform you that another, VERY IMPORTANT character is going to be introduced soon, named Bursk. You'll find out more about him soon enough, pretties.

If you'd like to laugh, watch this:


If it isn't working, like I predict it won't, type in "Memorable Death #3" and laugh at a great scene from Princess Bride.

Don't forget to spread my Blog please! A budding author needs support, and so does an ego falling to shambles. Help me out, and thanks to my regular viewers for their support. It really makes me happy to receive comments and see my page views go up.

I have to go, my jellyfish are hungry.

Slap Yourself.


♥, Me

Off tasky-ish-ness

I logged in today, eager to see how many people have looked at my page. I look at the graph. And my liddle ♥ just bweaks. 2 views :(

It hurts, Internet. I'm just trying to write a book, and show some people out there that not every teenager is stuck to texting Jenna about what Jerry said to Brad about Laura who talked about Ashley and Victor's possible baby.

Anyway, I didn't get around to writing the novel today, because I actually had to do work in school today. It was one of those rare days. However, I was forced to write a personal narrative (Non-fiction. Oh God, no) about things in my past. As much as I hated the assignment, my piece didn't turn out half bad. If you would like to read that, just slap it in your comment.

Weekly LAWL:

Yeah, this made me pee a little. Not only is J.J.'s face perfectly humorous, but the god-awful joke followed by it make me LAWL. I'm just a nerd. I stumbled upon this on FunnyJunk. It's like 4Chan without the disgusting porn. I have a profile on FJ, I think I'm BlargleBoy or some silly thing. Blargle, Blah, Derp, and Doodle are my exasperation words. No, I don't know why.

I figured it was about time that I shared some music with you, since I'm more picky about my music than Donald Trump is about god-awful hair pieces. When writing, I usually listen to this little hippy-looking band called Fleet Foxes.

You may have heard of them, as their newest album was critically acclaimed. But their self-titles album is just freaking beautiful. You will listen to White Winter Hymnal a kagillion times, plus a couple other times. Just ask Brittany, my girlfriend. It may have been what drove her totally crazy, but I'm still trying to work that out. So many possibilities...

Tomorrow I shall have some word for you about the book or other projects. Also, be aware that I can't post the whole book on here. That being said, I most likely will anyway.

Before I tell you to enjoy this little short-story I'm about to post (stop telling me to take out the Trash, Mom!),  I'd like to ask for your help in promoting my Blog once again. Pretty please.

Enjoy this short story!

♥, Me

Click read more to read "Garden of Waste", an original short story!

Alternate Prologue (Bonus!: Rambling!)

Today, after writing most of the third chapter, RE-WRITING the ending half of the second chapter AND beginning on a personal narrative (EW.) for my Creative Writing class, I also sat down and wrote an Alternate Prologue that my Co-Author, Blondie, suggested to me. It's not as long as he likes, but I've never really liked long prologues. It's like eating Captain Crunch before it's properly soggy. It cuts the roof of your mouth and makes you wish that milk worked quicker on those delicious yellow squares of deliciousness.

And yes, I know I said I'd put the second chapter up today. I lied. I do it a lot. S*** happens.

This prologue is more dramatic and sweeping, and is in 3rd person omniscient. I hope you guys will like it. If you think it's better than the original, let me know! I'll try to set up some kind of poll on my page for those of you too lazy to give feedback in earnest, but still nice enough to let me know something.

Also, today I discovered that 1 page of M.S. Word text is averaged to about 2 pages in an actual book! That's encouraging.

While trying to find Blogs of note to follow here (if you know of any, tell me about them!), I stumbled upon this thing called +Blogger. I have no idea what the point is, but they were talking about comment moderation and commenting etiquette. I count myself lucky if ANYONE sees my Blog, let alone comments.

ANYWAY, the main point I brought it up is because they said it was easier to accomplish long term goals whilst blogging about it. Blogging. What an odd verb... So I've decided to do just that. I am writing a novel, deciding which College to go to (U. of L. or N.K.U.), and sticking to P90X. The last has made me so sore I swear my name is FitzHerbert and I'm 98.

Also, I am turning into an avid reader! Best books ever happen to be the King Killer Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss (shown to me by Blondie, who reads about 100 or so books a year). They are just. Ugh. They're beautiful. I strongly suggest reading them, even if you don't like fantasy. I just finished the Farseer Series by Robin Hobb, and I am still angry about the ending. So. Angry... Now, I am starting Eragon. I know I'm a little late, but I've been told that they're very good books. If you can't tell, I ADORE fantasy, and don't really like to read much of anything else. I ABHOR non-fiction. Fiction=ADORE, Non-Fiction=ABHOR. Know the difference. If you have any suggestions, let me know and I will add them to my list of books to read, which I will add to my blog page A.S.A.P.

Here is a link to Pat Rothfuss's Blog: Pat's Hysterical and Nerdy Blog

If you liked the Lord of the Rings books or movies, or if you loved the Hobbit, read his post about it. Because you'll pee. Guy's hysterical.

Kvothe, the main Character of the King Killer Chronicles. Also, a total BadA**.

In order to get an autographed book form Pat, I drew a picture, entirely made of words, of the picture you see above. I will post that picture as soon as I get it back.

Anywho, the point of this post: Alternate Prologue!

Help spread the word of this Blog, comment, and Enjoy!

Click read more to read the Alternate Prologue!

I May Break Something.

Storm of obscenities.

I saved the finished second chapter to the my U drive at school. And not to my hard drive. Which means: No freakin chapter 2.

Facepalm.

 Ugh. It's called Fledgling, and it recounts when Harowhin first tries to change into an owl. But since he is a mixture of Sre'Caill and Human, he can only spawn talons and wings he cannot flap. How are these useful? You'll see.

I may or may not start chapter 3 tonight, Strangers, if I can curb my anger. Otherwise my monitor will end up with my size 13 foot jutting out the backside of it, and that's usually not good for technology.

So, I suppose I may as well inform you of some things about the story. Well, more specifically, songs. Songs are going to be an important power in the world. When you sing a song correctly, you feel the power welling up, and at the finish it releases. This isn't some kind of gust of wind thing. This is like a thunderclap that will turn your front gate to splinters and make your mommy cry for her mommy. They're going to be pretty epic.

Also, songs will contain histories and other things, like in the end of chapter 2, Tayeth sings to Harowhin:

Koya, gold, and ashen-berry

Makes a strong man from wary

Lotus, hoss and eagle oil

Makes a treas'nous man loyal

Things like that. Keep in mind that not all songs have great powers. If a song is ended and released early, it isn't as powerful. Imagine that thunderclap making you sneeze. The reason that these will be a great element is that they aren't silent, which doesn't help most of Harowhin's activities (which involve stealth). 

I'll stop blabbering. Chapter two, up tomorrow. Promise. If I'm alive.

This here:

Is an Adam extractor from the Bioshock series. My friend and Co-Author, Blondie, has offered to make me one. If I buy 2 ancient gas pumps. 

I'm tempted, but seeing as Panera bread hasn't called me back yet, I'm still jobless and have no gas in my car! Can you see the smile on my face?!

Speaking of Bioshock, Bioshock: Infinite has me all jazzed up. If you haven't read anything about it yet, you have to. It's going to be totally different.

Bioshock: Infinite Official Website

It looks steampunk (which I am totally obsessed with) and colonial. You can smell the awesome, like bacon cooking.

Now, I have to go and eat my ravioli before my stick of a sister voraciously chokes it down. 

Never ever touch a man's food.

@ever.

Chapter One: Scavenged

This is the first chapter in the book, in which Harowhin goes into how he was found and talks a bit about how he was found, and Tayeth (his "mother") tells the legend of the Old Gods and how the Islands and the Sre'thesu came to be. I WILL BE EXPANDING THAT LEGEND TO BE AN INDEPENDENT CHAPTER at the discretion of my friend Blondie, basically the Co-Author and a good friend of mine. 

Also, remember that this is the first draft of the chapter. 

Comment and enjoy!


Click read more to read Chapter one of Harowhin's Story: Scavenged!

2 Days In And I Already Bollocksed It Up

I did, I did. The post title refers to the link I left in my first post. I am not trying to learn that crappy version.

This is the right one: Correct Skyrim Theme Song!

Also, I am not British. Unfortunately... I mean a LOT of great things have come out of the U.K.! Muse, James Bond, and the reinforced ideology that you don't have to have human teeth to be loved. Really, the only bad thing they did was try to introduce their own cuisine.

"Would you like some fish and chips?"

"No thanks, I've already had diarrhea."

I always misspell diarrhea. Then again, it really shouldn't be a common word in your... anything. I apologize if it is, I assume you're some kind of doctor. Hopefully...

ANYWAY, I worked a bit more on Harowhin's Story today. By that I mean I added a sentence or two. I couldn't really concentrate. I never can on sunny days. It doesn't have to do with the fact that I want to prance about a meadow in a sundress or something. It just hurts my head, a lot. And makes everything seem picturesque and disgustingly quaint. Blech.

Let's see, let's see. Upcoming events? Well, hopefully, Panera calls me back. I need a job, otherwise I'll have to turn to thievery. I mean, I wouldn't get caught or anything, my sneak is 100, just check my Skyrim file. But it contradicts my morals.

FAFSA form needs filling out, but I just can't bring myself to paste my name a million times into indistinguishable lines. I should have been born when a goat and a fat pig would get you into college. Then again I'd probably end up studying how to hunt witches. But I watched Monty Python's Holy Grail, so I suppose I'd be a genius.

That doesn't sound too bad.

Yesterday I stumbled upon this delightful young guitarist on the Interwebicons. Here is a link to her site:

Malukah!

More specifically, the link leads to her covers of various bard songs from Skyrim, which I have been listening to incessantly.

I think this guy likes Skyrim...

Thanks Jim Gaffigan, for that high pitched trolling woman that is now a permanent denizen of my brain...

Moving on, I need to mention my newly created Twitter account, which I despise in and of itself. However, it's actually a pretty nifty newsfeed when you don't follow any REAL people.

Da link: TremoloBanshee on Twitter!

If you love my background image, I got it from Wallbase. If you need to kill a few hours, and don't mind scrolling past the obscure anime reference every now and then, check it out.

I think I'll end this post here. Tomorrow I'll post the other complete chapters from The Novel for you guys to read through. Side note: I would much appreciate your help in getting others to follow this Blog. The sooner I have more readers, the sooner the whole thing gets more fun for everyone. The hundredth follower will get a digital moose from yours truly.

If you were to lazy to check out my Twitter Link (charlatan!), this is the background image I rambled about.

Sampler, kiddies!

This is the Prologue to Harowhin's Story.

Before you go and bash the crap out of it, keep in mind that it's first draft. I have the first 2 chapters and the prologue right now, and will go back for a heavy editing when I have 5 sections in all, which is rather close.

Can't decide if excited or not...

Anyway, feel free to ask questions! You will need to if you want to comprehend anything at all in the story. I will probably blog an overview shortly, but I just want a bit of my work up so you can glean a bit of my style.

Remember, ask questions! I will gladly answer. In your comment put a short hashtag to address you by because I'm a lethargic dude.

Enjoy:

Hello There!

Well, here I am again. This is a WHOLE NEW BLOG!


Blow your party whistles everyone!

Anyway, I've decided to lay a lot out on this blog... well, eventually. I will share with you music, literature, funny events, and thoughts. Plus a million other things. And maybe some impulsive rambling...

Before this whole deal gets kicked off, I'd like to thank you if you're truly reading this. It's human to get all warm and tingly at someones attention I suppose.

So, what am I up to at the moment? A fair amount of posts to this blog will pertain to my Novel, which is untitled at this time, so I'll probably refer to it as THE NOVEL or HAROWHIN'S STORY. I at least named the main character.

Also, I will figure out a way to share with you my slow learning of acoustic guitar songs. I'm trying to learn this AMAZING version of the Skyrim Main Theme right now, and will try to keep you all updated on that.

'Tis a link: "Skyrim" Main Theme on Classical Guitar

I've been told I hate paragraphs. I suppose that is true, seeing as all of these are midget paragraphs... digression.

I will share cool things I discover on the Internet that I think everyone should see, which is a lot of things, because I'm what some may call slightly narcissistic. It wont be that big of a problem, promise.

I suppose you'll see what this whole thing is about in the days to come, and until then, it would be much appreciated if you spread word of this blog to your friends!

Thank you very much, future audience.
We'll become very familiar with each other, and I mean that in the least creepy way possible. Sincerely. Really. Not creepy.

Here's a nifty picture for you: (which I will probably spam you with often)

Gorillaz Plastic Beach art