Don't Trust Little Black Boxes Called Jetpack

They don't work at all.

That's the main reason I haven't blogged in a while, my dear readers.

Verizon sold us this little miracle box called the MiFi Jetpack. It likes to download random things when no one is home. Then it likes to make my mother yell at me, even though I have only been home three times that week to shower and pee.

I graduated recently. And turned 18. It's all not as fabulous as it's made out to believe. Getting a job is impossible and it really takes a crap on your priorities.

So I'm sitting here in the Hebron library, typing on a keyboard so outdated that a WWII vet probably used it to bash a Nazi's teeth in. It's greasy too. Blech. Remember to wash your hands, Sawyer.

What do I have to talk about now? Well I'm not particularly sure. I do know that typing like a maniac is fun as hell in here. Most Kentuckians are impressed that you can spell your own name. Hell, half my graduating class would probably spell Conner Cougars like Conner Kroger, simply because there's one across the street. Close enough, I suppose.

There are no pictures so far in this post. This is mostly to do with the fact that this is not my computer, but also because I am on Internet Explorer, which is the bane of anyone who would like to do anything on the internet. They are making a new Internet Explorer, version 9. Now you can download Google Chrome 200 times faster.

I woke up this morning to find I had indeed missed orientation for Louisville, and this severely pissed me off. The blame here rests mostly on me (there you go mom, rejoice) and our retarded Internet. Also, UofL website makes about as much sense as a penguin pissing in a volcano. I recorded every password and username they gave me, plugged them all in, and couldn't log into a damned thing. Hm.

Anyway, money has been in my pocket lately, and is rapidly flying out. If you ask me then I'll tell you that someone has to help the economy. But really, I just find pleasure in stupid things. It has it's advantages. Then you get all depressed when you don't have two nickels to rub together. YOLO? (Never say that around me.)

I applied for Toy R Us, and despite it being a cool place in my youth, the floors are as yellow-stained as Ghandi's teeth and the isles reek of depression. Fair enough I suppose.

I have so much to do in so little time it seems. I have a fair amount of art projects I wanna finish at home. I have to get a job, preferably before I spend all this cash. I have to reschedule orientation. I have to set up a graduation party. I have to get a laptop. I have to fix my junker. I have to laugh at feminists more often. That's a big list for an apathetic guy, you know.

Moving on, I have recently started hanging out with THE GUYS as I will refer to them here, and I figure I can do a short psychological analysis on each of them here, mostly for my amusement, as none of them will read this.

Blondie: You know him. Book-reader, good natured and possessor of quick wit. Always dependable and fun, cautious (to a fault almost) and loving of his girlfriend Rachael, who may be one of the most badass girlfriends ever. Philosophical

Brian: Sex addict, likes get on /b/ for all the wrong reasons. He will make you laugh your pants off though, and his beard is a breeding ground for jokes. Good natured deep down.

Wooz: Whipped at the moment. However, I've known him to be one of the most relaxed yet intelligent men I've met. Hilarious and benevolent more often than not.

Ghandi (Not the real one or the one reffered to above): The more serious of the group, with an odd penchant for farts. Most reluctant to try something new, but also the most fun to watch do so. Clever and shrewd.

Oh, and we're all nerds.

I'm starting D&D. I have much more to talk about next time, but the library decided that a normal human needs only 50 of time on the computer. *sigh*

Till next time,

Birthday Boy

That would be me.

Today was a lot of things for me. Well. Sorta.

1. Took my A.P. Literature and Composition test (I am unofficially clocked out.)
2. I am 18

That's... that's about it. But when I walked outside to go to Blondie's, this is what my car looks like:

Brittany (Whom I adore with all my black heart), and our flamboyant friend Travis did this. And got away with it. How they weren't attacked by the school police officer is above me. I mean, we aren't allowed to open the windows because someone might climb in, so someone putting balloons on a car could only mean one thing, right?

Russian Invasion.

I hate Kentucky... Anyway, it was fun walking out, and having everyone beeping/flipping me off while I cut the balloons off with my keys (which is extremely inefficient).

I realized today during my A.P. test how smart I am, so I'm a little egotistical right now. Deal with it.

So, since it's been a long while, imma show you some things that you should be aware of:

1. The Legend of Korra is on. And it is awesome. You should be watching it. A link for those interested: CLICK ME DUDE

A picture of Korra:

2. Bioshock: Infinite release date was pushed back to 2013. I'm freaking devastated.

3. Skyrim DLC has been announced! Also, Kinect commands for it are about as addictive as meth covered in cocaine. Le link: More of a "What we want" thing. But, Bethesda has't said anything about content yet. This is a long link. Snagglepuss.

4. I have sunk my teeth into Emulators, and can't get enough. Playing all these classics makes me happy. Check it out at CoolRom.com.

5. Harely Quinn DLC has been announced for Batman: Arkham City! I love this game, it's definitely a master-piece. Link:  Trailer!

6. I'm reading a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It's drolly entertaining. Da Book

7. Lists are tedious.

8. Adventure Time is as funny as ever. If you aren't watching this, you are an idiot. Check out the show. Now.

Oh, here are some more pictures!

This is the cake from Portal. It was made by Blondie's awesome girlfriend Rachael, and not only was it awesome with awesome sauwce, but it looked PERFECT. Then Blondie was an ass and got a trick candle. THEN it didn't work and I lawled. Overall, I had a lot of fun hanging out with them, and realized just how much Blondie has to brag about. They're funny happy, which in turn makes me happy. Good times. Here is the cake!

So... Proud...

Oh, this is me looking awesome in armor with the master sword.

It just occurred to me that this could be the first time you've actually seen my face. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I also feel inclined to tell you that I'm not that fat. It's a fat hoodie. I wore it today to be comfy while taking the test. Comfy like a baby. In an oven. It was hot there.

Anyway! Until later, avid readers.

♥, Me.

Hello Again

Wow it's been a while. Sorry for the sudden break, a lot of things happened.

It was mainly my Internet being canceled. But hey. We move along I guess.

Speaking of which, my parent's just gave me a birthday cake (I'm 18 tomorrow!!!!!) and 30 ducks to Chili's plus cupcakes for tomorrow, and the best present ever, which I will explain now:

When I was little, I had this awesome metal revolver that I played with all the time. It was my favorite thing ever, and my Mom accidentally sold it in a garage sale, and I've given her grief to this day. So, in response, years later, she gives me this:

You jelly?

  It shoots caps. And they smell so bad. But they smell so GOOD. It makes me happy :)

So update? Let's see. Tomorrow is my A.P. Lit. exam. After tomorrow, I'm basically clocking out. Graduate on the 20th. For sure going to Louisville. Things are panning out. Well, sorta. Still jobless... I know, I know. I've been trying!

But now that I'm 18 a lot more jobs open up, so we'll see how that goes. P90X got off track. A lot. We're all starting up again next week, and I can't wait. You feel great after you do it...

Anyway, I know this is a bland post, but so much has happened! I have a lot to tell you about, and I will. In time. In separate posts. So piss you off.

It's what I do. I will post tomorrow, if Verizon or God is working.

♥, Me.