Art Blogs?

It's been a month. Or two. Time you know, it just... goes.

But here I am, in college. And as part of my drawing foundations class, I am required to journal at least 5 times a week. This is exactly the structure I've been looking for, however I'm anxious that I'll begin to run low on wit, and my classmates will find me stale and boring. Seeing as how you are probably one of my classmates (and by probably I mean most definitely), I may be creeping you out a bit...

Moving on.

If you're at all interested in my older posts, then I urge you to look. I take pride in finding dumb things to say. If not, then you may want to consider it if you like amateur work, funny stories about a misplaced social pariah, or even fantasy writing. If not, and you think I'm a total loser, then I'm totally kidding. I like cars and girls and... stuff.

SO getting to the assignment:

What's on my mind art-wise? I want to broaden my horizons as far as viewing art goes, so if you have a suggestion as to some art to give a gander at, leave the name in the comments.

Ideas to draw/ develop:

1. A man with worn eyes and wind blown hair catching a bullet with his teeth, but his teeth shatter. Side view, dirty and sketchy, pen most likely.

2. Square project: One large cube sectioned into tons of other cubes. On the front face I'll have a depression in the center, the exposed sides shown on each cube. On the left face, I'll have cubes falling, like a dilapidated building. This is too difficult for me. But I'm gonna do it anyway, probably due to the fact that I hold a grudge against human limitation... Anyway!

Sketch?:








You may want to enlarge. It's really just a random amalgamation of ideas. It's usually how I start a project.

Also, if you guys don't mind, if I post some pictures of the art I want to submit, would you tell me whether or not submitting them in my portfolio is a good idea?

Thanks for reading!

Demand to see Life's Manager when handed Lemons

What?

Oh hai.

Guess what. My car is dead. I have no car. If I can't sleep in my bed at night, I would sleep in my car. If I had one. If UofL gets me a bumper sticker, I would put it on my car. But someone killed it. Killed it with a 2010 Mazda... Shame.

My parents loaned out my Little Lumina to someone in need for a week, and some lady, who thought her biscuits and gravy from KFC were more delicious and important than paying attention to hitting someone else's car hit it.  I hope that gravy scorched her toenails right off.

Well, the guy we loaned the car to is fine, and so are his passengers. But my car is totaled. I would be okay with this if I got a Nissan Cube out of the deal, but seeing as how God now punishes people for letting others borrow a car, I doubt that I will get a two wheeled golf cart, even.

In other news, I STILL cannot get a job, I STILL cannot figure out UofL's website, and I STILL cannot focus. I think I have ADD. I would call the doctor, but my ADD is preventing that. Also I couldn't make the appointment, because

I DON'T HAVE A CAR.


Once I do go though, and hopefully get medicated, I will finally be able to focus on one thing at a time. I haven't written in so long it sucks. I can't even keep blogging right now. fudge crackers. I will try again soon.

Revel in this glory:

Noot Noot.


Till next time.

♥, Me.

Don't Trust Little Black Boxes Called Jetpack

They don't work at all.

That's the main reason I haven't blogged in a while, my dear readers.

Verizon sold us this little miracle box called the MiFi Jetpack. It likes to download random things when no one is home. Then it likes to make my mother yell at me, even though I have only been home three times that week to shower and pee.

I graduated recently. And turned 18. It's all not as fabulous as it's made out to believe. Getting a job is impossible and it really takes a crap on your priorities.

So I'm sitting here in the Hebron library, typing on a keyboard so outdated that a WWII vet probably used it to bash a Nazi's teeth in. It's greasy too. Blech. Remember to wash your hands, Sawyer.

What do I have to talk about now? Well I'm not particularly sure. I do know that typing like a maniac is fun as hell in here. Most Kentuckians are impressed that you can spell your own name. Hell, half my graduating class would probably spell Conner Cougars like Conner Kroger, simply because there's one across the street. Close enough, I suppose.

There are no pictures so far in this post. This is mostly to do with the fact that this is not my computer, but also because I am on Internet Explorer, which is the bane of anyone who would like to do anything on the internet. They are making a new Internet Explorer, version 9. Now you can download Google Chrome 200 times faster.

I woke up this morning to find I had indeed missed orientation for Louisville, and this severely pissed me off. The blame here rests mostly on me (there you go mom, rejoice) and our retarded Internet. Also, UofL website makes about as much sense as a penguin pissing in a volcano. I recorded every password and username they gave me, plugged them all in, and couldn't log into a damned thing. Hm.

Anyway, money has been in my pocket lately, and is rapidly flying out. If you ask me then I'll tell you that someone has to help the economy. But really, I just find pleasure in stupid things. It has it's advantages. Then you get all depressed when you don't have two nickels to rub together. YOLO? (Never say that around me.)

I applied for Toy R Us, and despite it being a cool place in my youth, the floors are as yellow-stained as Ghandi's teeth and the isles reek of depression. Fair enough I suppose.

I have so much to do in so little time it seems. I have a fair amount of art projects I wanna finish at home. I have to get a job, preferably before I spend all this cash. I have to reschedule orientation. I have to set up a graduation party. I have to get a laptop. I have to fix my junker. I have to laugh at feminists more often. That's a big list for an apathetic guy, you know.

Moving on, I have recently started hanging out with THE GUYS as I will refer to them here, and I figure I can do a short psychological analysis on each of them here, mostly for my amusement, as none of them will read this.

Blondie: You know him. Book-reader, good natured and possessor of quick wit. Always dependable and fun, cautious (to a fault almost) and loving of his girlfriend Rachael, who may be one of the most badass girlfriends ever. Philosophical

Brian: Sex addict, likes get on /b/ for all the wrong reasons. He will make you laugh your pants off though, and his beard is a breeding ground for jokes. Good natured deep down.

Wooz: Whipped at the moment. However, I've known him to be one of the most relaxed yet intelligent men I've met. Hilarious and benevolent more often than not.

Ghandi (Not the real one or the one reffered to above): The more serious of the group, with an odd penchant for farts. Most reluctant to try something new, but also the most fun to watch do so. Clever and shrewd.

Oh, and we're all nerds.

I'm starting D&D. I have much more to talk about next time, but the library decided that a normal human needs only 50 of time on the computer. *sigh*

Till next time,

Birthday Boy

That would be me.

Today was a lot of things for me. Well. Sorta.

1. Took my A.P. Literature and Composition test (I am unofficially clocked out.)
2. I am 18

That's... that's about it. But when I walked outside to go to Blondie's, this is what my car looks like:

Brittany (Whom I adore with all my black heart), and our flamboyant friend Travis did this. And got away with it. How they weren't attacked by the school police officer is above me. I mean, we aren't allowed to open the windows because someone might climb in, so someone putting balloons on a car could only mean one thing, right?

Russian Invasion.

I hate Kentucky... Anyway, it was fun walking out, and having everyone beeping/flipping me off while I cut the balloons off with my keys (which is extremely inefficient).

I realized today during my A.P. test how smart I am, so I'm a little egotistical right now. Deal with it.

So, since it's been a long while, imma show you some things that you should be aware of:

1. The Legend of Korra is on. And it is awesome. You should be watching it. A link for those interested: CLICK ME DUDE

A picture of Korra:

2. Bioshock: Infinite release date was pushed back to 2013. I'm freaking devastated.

3. Skyrim DLC has been announced! Also, Kinect commands for it are about as addictive as meth covered in cocaine. Le link: More of a "What we want" thing. But, Bethesda has't said anything about content yet. This is a long link. Snagglepuss.

4. I have sunk my teeth into Emulators, and can't get enough. Playing all these classics makes me happy. Check it out at CoolRom.com.

5. Harely Quinn DLC has been announced for Batman: Arkham City! I love this game, it's definitely a master-piece. Link:  Trailer!

6. I'm reading a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It's drolly entertaining. Da Book

7. Lists are tedious.

8. Adventure Time is as funny as ever. If you aren't watching this, you are an idiot. Check out the show. Now.

Oh, here are some more pictures!

This is the cake from Portal. It was made by Blondie's awesome girlfriend Rachael, and not only was it awesome with awesome sauwce, but it looked PERFECT. Then Blondie was an ass and got a trick candle. THEN it didn't work and I lawled. Overall, I had a lot of fun hanging out with them, and realized just how much Blondie has to brag about. They're funny happy, which in turn makes me happy. Good times. Here is the cake!

So... Proud...

Oh, this is me looking awesome in armor with the master sword.

It just occurred to me that this could be the first time you've actually seen my face. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I also feel inclined to tell you that I'm not that fat. It's a fat hoodie. I wore it today to be comfy while taking the test. Comfy like a baby. In an oven. It was hot there.

Anyway! Until later, avid readers.

♥, Me.

Hello Again

Wow it's been a while. Sorry for the sudden break, a lot of things happened.

It was mainly my Internet being canceled. But hey. We move along I guess.

Speaking of which, my parent's just gave me a birthday cake (I'm 18 tomorrow!!!!!) and 30 ducks to Chili's plus cupcakes for tomorrow, and the best present ever, which I will explain now:

When I was little, I had this awesome metal revolver that I played with all the time. It was my favorite thing ever, and my Mom accidentally sold it in a garage sale, and I've given her grief to this day. So, in response, years later, she gives me this:

You jelly?

  It shoots caps. And they smell so bad. But they smell so GOOD. It makes me happy :)

So update? Let's see. Tomorrow is my A.P. Lit. exam. After tomorrow, I'm basically clocking out. Graduate on the 20th. For sure going to Louisville. Things are panning out. Well, sorta. Still jobless... I know, I know. I've been trying!

But now that I'm 18 a lot more jobs open up, so we'll see how that goes. P90X got off track. A lot. We're all starting up again next week, and I can't wait. You feel great after you do it...

Anyway, I know this is a bland post, but so much has happened! I have a lot to tell you about, and I will. In time. In separate posts. So piss you off.

It's what I do. I will post tomorrow, if Verizon or God is working.

♥, Me.

Witty Title

Wow, it's been about 2 weeks! Did you miss me? ◄

Awww...

Well, not much has been happening, I suppose. The last two art projects have sucked, and I'm fairly certain that I have lost skill in guitar playing, which is upsetting because I actually learned a really catchy song by Fleet Foxes called False Knight On The Road. I brought my guitar to school today for one of le crappy projects mentioned earlier and people asked me to play. I then proceeded to realize that I totally, entirely and truly suck at guitar. 

------------------------------------------------------oh well.

The job search is going considerably better, as I may get a job at either Jump!Zone with Britt or  at LazerKraze  which is supposed to pay 9 ducks an hour. All the ducks... Either of which would be great, because the last thing I purchased with my own money was a gumball from the mall which, in retrospect, was a poor decision. Iregretnothing.jpg

That's more of a "I don't even care face" but, you guys are just going to have to deal with it.

As far as writing goes, I would love to do some. However, Mrs. Foley is having a jolly old time cramming retarded assignments down my throat, like writing a hippie-america-is-beautiful thing. It actually came out pretty nice, and I'll include it at the end. STILL, I don't like her and her nonsensical "because I said so" attitude. She's like, 7 years older than me, and she looks like a bald eagle. Your authority=none. ↨

I miss my epic fantasy world... §

Anyway, Louisville orientation is coming up, and so is graduation, and so is never having to see anyone from school ever never ever ever never ever again. This, of course, makes me deliriously happy, as most of my classmates can't tell the difference between a shovel and an airplane.

Speaking of class, I have to read Dante's Inferno for A.P. Lit. This doesn't really bother me, except that I got the book. And the cover is in....

My MS Paint skills are over 9000.

A classic doesn't look as epic with a Comic Sans title. Oh well, I'm just a loser.

As far as P90X goes, it's about 5 weeks in, and I've lost 5 pounds... Unimpressive, but I've gained a lot of endurance. I just need to start eating right. Oh, and only break a sweat after 50 pull-ups. No big deal.

Weekly LAWL:

Really, I just wanted to see if GIFs worked. YAY for me!

Spring break is next week, and hopefully I'll be able to show pictures of all the guns I'll be shooting with my brother Corey, who lives down in Florida. He's in the Airforce, and is a lankier, more-ducks-having version of me. I miss the craps out of him. Oh crap... we're leaving right after school Friday, when I'm supposed to hang out with Blondie all day... crap.

"Bang on that keyboard louder Sawyer!" *Music is playing, shower is going, dryer is screeching*

Really, mom. You're just listening for it...

So I smash it out of spite.  ☼

Anyway, it should be a nice break, and I can keep up with P90X because he has it too. And I'll be playing LIVE, hopefully, a little bit. I can't wait for a lot of games this year... But that'll be in the next post. I think my mother's ears will explode if I type another hateful word.

So, I'll leave you with "The Valley by the Lake" and a childish hope you will spread my blog on Twitter or Facebook, and let it be buried under Justin Bieber fever and KONY crap. I'm selfish, love me.

Till next time, viewers,

♥, Me.

Click "read more" to read "The Valley by the Lake"!

Laser Beams

No, this post has nothing to do with laser beams...

Unfortunately. ↨

Anyway, I finished my Inking of SkullKid, and Good news, it's AWFUL!

It's just bad, man. Don't try to say otherwise. The Moon blows. But oddly enough, a girl in my class asked if I was going to keep it. She said if I didn't want it that she would love to have it. What the hell. It's bad, dude... And to top off that sundae of inadequacy, it made me feel like my first ink piece (Dubstep, Boom!) was even WORSE. ◄

Working on Chapter 4. There's just so much going on, like forgetting to sign up for orientation and forgetting to pay for cap and gown and forgetting to get lunch money and worrying about gas and worrying about a job and forgetting to worry about homework and things of that nature.

On an odd note, I saw this movie called Willow at my cousins' house. I didn't actually WATCH it, BUT I've heard at least 3 jokes the past week about it. Aziz Ansari made a joke about it in his stand-up, Psych made a reference, and some weird person who decided to stalk me on Twitter made a joke with it. Is it a good movie? Is it so awful that it's funny? I don't know. But I do know that there is a moody black midget is in it.

On that note, it seems that I should share something with you. The first thing I am forced to endure at school is a class called A.P. Literature. Now, this class is usually pretty cool, as I am into Literature (obviously) and things of that nature.

So last night, we read this quirky little story called "A Good Man is Hard to Find" by some 50's (The second thing to pop into my head after I see 50's is bacon...) lady. It was a tale of this obnoxious family trip to Georgia with their annoying and ignorant grandmother and how they all die. It was meh. But the important thing to know is that the Grandmother called this little black kid a n*****. Seeing the time period and how old she was, it made sense that the Grandmother would say it, as if it were common. This caused some people to have poop baby over the origins of this.

Specifically... well, we'll call her Clora. After about a good ten minutes of wasted time, my teacher, the hipster-poster woman for the world Mrs. Feldman is getting hilariously annoyed. Clora even asks our librarian about the origin of it and when it became offensive. Does it matter?! SERIOUSLY. It's offensive now, and was it ever really a compliment? Can I call you ridiculously hideous? No, it's offensive.

Clora trudges on with questions pulled seemingly from a retards book of retard quotes. She asks our librarian if calling black people colored people was offensive.

#,♦

You gave GOT to be joking me. But it's not over. LATER she tells us that she resents the blood drive going on at school tomorrow for using us. She says they take advantage of us. So, let me get this straight:

Motivating kids to SAVE LIVES through giving blood by getting them OUT OF CLASS and giving them a COOKIE is wrong. 

Through this, I have determined that Clora hates everyone with cancer, and paints with puppy blood every Sunday morning. 

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Sometimes I wonder.

On another note, if you are looking for a cheaper means of reading Pat Rothfuss's series, his second came out in paperback. Check it out here.

Before I go, this is Blondie's new art project.

The words are Gaelic. Yes, the Gaelic word for air is aer.

P90X time, week two. Cake is the enemy.

Uhhhhhhh Please help promote my Blog! Twitter, however despised by me, is a useful advertiser. Just use the hashtag #EclecticismforPleasure and spread the word! I really appreciate it. Also, if someone would let me know which chapter I showed last I'd be happy to put up the next one in anticipation for chapter 4.

"My pet jellyfish are hungry"

♥, Me.